As the old saying goes, “You are the reflection of the five people you spend the most time with.”
Regardless if what it is you want to become “successful” at, the key is to surround yourself with positive people. Your community will be the thing that shapes you into the person you ultimately become. You have to be aware of how those around you impact your growth in order to move in a positive direction—which means you also need to know who to steer clear of along the way.
Be wary of these 7 types of people. They will end up having a negative affect on your development as a person.
Every undertaking has its challenges, however it’s how you handle those challenges that ultimately defines whether or not you move forward, stay stagnant, or give up all together. People who complain are toxic, and make it impossible to find the next best solution. They would rather bask in defeat than strive toward accomplishment, and they have a wonderful talent for convincing other people to believe the same.
The Over-Promiser and Under-Deliverer
A terrible habit is to over-promise and under-deliver. It sets false expectations from the beginning. People that over-promise tend to do so because they want things to appear far better than they actually are—and then that reality is cemented when things in fact do not pan out the way they were originally positioned. Aside from the fact that this is often disappointing, in a team environment this bad habit can be demoralizing. Over-promising and under-delivering is what makes people feel like no growth is being made, and sometimes causes teams to fall apart.
The Flaunter And Big Baller
This type of person is dangerous, specifically to your ego. They place value on material possessions far more than they do anything meaningful or worthwhile. They always have to be buying new things, always have to arrive with a “bang,” always have to show how much they have in hopes of everyone validating whatever it is they have “achieved.” Note: It’s not the financial position that makes this person a bad influence. It’s the fact that they are focused on all the wrong things.
There are those who talk about doing, and then those who are too busy doing to talk about it. The Dreamer is the one who has a lot of great ideas but can’t quite seem to bring them to life. They lack work ethic and discipline. They would rather wait until “tomorrow.” They can go on and on about all the amazing things they want to accomplish and create, but whenever asked about their progress, they say, “I just haven’t had the time!” They are incredible at coming up with excuses as to why they aren’t moving any closer to bringing their dreams into reality—and if you’re not careful, you will find yourself falling into a similar trap.
In order to be successful, you have to keep one eye on the short-term and one-eye on the long term. If The Dreamer’s weakness is their over-indulgence in fantasizing about the long-term, then The Tunnel-Visioner’s weakness is their inability to see the bigger picture. This is the person who would rather spin their wheels and “stay busy” than pause and question if what it is they’re working on is even valuable in the first place.
Communication is crucial in any pursuit, whether it’s within a team, between partners, clients, or industry contacts. Communication is the conduit in which information is passed and moves are effectively made. People who under-communicate aren’t just absent—they are sources of conflict. When information is not communicated well, materials fall through the cracks, things are forgotten, To Dos aren’t completed, deals aren’t solidified, expectations aren’t properly set, the list goes on and on. And unfortunately, people who under-communicate often do so out of incompetency.
Call them whatever you’d like, but this is the person who takes everything personally and reacts solely out of emotion. When things go right, they take all the credit, and when things go wrong, they blame everyone but themselves. With them, there is no compromise. It’s all or nothing, all the time. And should you ever point out something that they may or may not have done well, they will be the first to throw their arms into the air. In a sense, they love conflict, and that’s what makes them so toxic to be around.
Take a good look at the five people you spend the most time with, and ask yourself if any of the above are eerily relatable. If they are, audit how effective those people are and what qualities they bring into your life. And if the cons outweigh the pros, it might be time to move on.Opinions expressed here are the opinions of the author. Influencive does not endorse or review brands mentioned; does not and can not investigate relationships with brands, products, and people mentioned and is up to the author to disclose. VIP Contributors and Contributors, amongst other accounts and articles, are professional fee-based.
Nicolas Cole is a writer and essayist, and Top Writer on Quora with over 10,000,000 views. His work has been published in Time, Forbes, Fortune, Inc., The Huffington Post, Business Insider, and more. He is a columnist for Inc Magazine and is best known for writing true stories about self-development. You can follow him on Twitter @Nicolascole77