Relationships are perhaps one of the most paramount parts of our human experience, and a huge component of the fabric of society. Our relationships with others in both our personal and professional lives greatly influence the quality of the life we live. However, many of us struggle in the realm of relationships and in particular, finding love.
This is where relationship expert, Jaime Bronstein shines brightest. Jaime has been a practicing therapist for the past 20 years and is now also the host of “Love Talk Live” on LA Talk Radio. She was named the “#1 Relationship Coach Transforming Lives in 2020” by Yahoo Finance. Jaime has an impressive resume and has been able to guide countless people from all across the world as they navigate the peaks and troughs of dating and relationships. Jaime’s extensive qualifications include a bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Boston University, a master’s degree in Social Work from New York University, and a certificate in Spiritual Psychology from the University of Santa Monica. All of these enable her to truly help her clients shift their perspective; seeing every challenge life throws at them as an opportunity to evolve.
Here I sit down with Jaime to dive deep into the incredible work she does.
Lewis: Jaime, thanks again for taking the time to share your advice. First things first, though, I am sure readers would love to learn more about you. Can you share a bit about your backstory and how you got to where you are today?
Jaime: I am happy to share my story! I always say that I popped into this world, destined to work in the world of “love” because my name in French means “I love” (if it’s spelled “J’aime”). For as long as I can remember I have always loved everything about love and since I know how life-changing love is, it became my mission to inspire people to do everything they can to be in fulfilling, deeply connected, purpose-filled and meaningful, heart and soul-connected loving relationships and to know that everyone deserves love and is capable of having love in their lives. My love and fascination for psychology started in my first psychology class in high school. I couldn’t get enough about learning how and why people operate the way they do, so essentially, I have never stopped studying and learning everything I can about human emotions and behavior from that day forward. I think it’s beautiful how we are all so unique; I help my clients embrace that fact.
Lewis: How has relationship coaching changed or improved the overall quality of your life?
Jaime: Relationship coaching helps me to stay accountable to my own relationship. They say practice what you preach; I love to incorporate the tools that I use with my clients in my marriage with my husband.
Relationship coaching brings me a lot of joy. It’s important to do what you feel passionate about in life to feel fulfilled. Helping people make positive changes in their lives enhances my life. Knowing the impact that I have on others fills me with a sense of meaning and purpose.
Watching someone have an “ah-ha” moment and make a significant shift in their perception or mentality is magical. Helping someone facilitate change is incredibly gratifying.
Lewis: What is the most common challenge your clients face? How do you help them deal with it?
Jaime: The most common challenge my clients face is a lack of communication. People are afraid to share how they feel because they fear that the relationship will end. In reality, if a couple is supposed to be together and work things out, they will.
Everyone wants to be acknowledged. I always recommend saying what’s on your mind. When two people unconditionally love each other, they listen with an open heart. I help my clients deal with communication issues by encouraging them to speak their minds and validate what each other says even if they don’t understand it. As humans, it feels good to be seen and heard, so I encourage my clients to share honestly with one another with no fear of being judged.
Lewis: What do you think makes you stand out in your industry? Can you share a story?
Jaime: The fact that I’m an intuitive makes me stand out in the world of psychotherapy and relationship coaching.
Looking beyond the words that my clients say and getting to the heart of the issue with my added intuitive senses that I receive helps me help my clients on a deeper level.
My training in psychotherapy, social work, and spirituality are all woven together into my work, so my clients get the best of all the worlds I have to offer. I believe this sets me apart from other therapists and coaches.
Being named the “#1 Relationship Coach Transforming Lives in 2020” by Yahoo Finance has really felt amazing. Knowing that all of my hard work which I call “heart” work has paid off. When you do things in life that bring you joy, it’s so much more rewarding; to be acknowledged for something that brings me joy makes it even better. I am very grateful.
Lewis: Can you share the funniest or most interesting story that happened to you since you began in this line of work?
Jaime: Years ago when I was still single, I had taken my little brother shopping for a suit for a family friend’s wedding. While my brother was trying on suits, I saw a good-looking man at the cologne counter, so I casually walked on over and started asking him which cologne he liked best; I was flirting up a storm. For some reason, I was not getting the reaction that I would’ve wanted from him. I thought to myself, “I’m cute and have a great personality- he must have a girlfriend or else he would be flirting back. I’m sure of it!” After I confirmed that he just wasn’t that into me and feeling a little rejected, I decided to check on my brother.
As I approached the dressing room, I noticed my client Rick was standing a few feet ahead of me. One of the first things I learned in graduate school was that if you see a client in public, you need to let them approach you first, not vice versa, so I diverted a bit and started looking at some sweaters when I heard, “Jaime, is that you?” We proceeded to have small talk and exchange pleasantries, and just as we were wrapping up the conversation, “hot cologne counter guy” walked over. I was thinking that he must’ve been coming over because he saw me talking to another guy, so he was jealous and realized how hot I actually was- I was wrong!
The conversation went something like this:
Client Rick: Jaime, I’d like to introduce you to my boyfriend, Lucas
Me: (DYING inside) Hi Lucas…
Lucas: We actually were talking over there
Me: (Awkward) What a small world.
Client Rick: Lucas, this is Jaime, my therapist
Me: (Did I mention I was DYING!?!?) Great to officially meet you, Lucas.
I blacked out the rest of the conversation. The only thing that was going through my head was, “I just lost a client! I just lost a client! I just lost a client!” Wait until they get in the car, and Lucas tells Rick that I was FLIRTING with him.
Rick showed up to this regular Monday at 3:30 pm session, and we briefly talked about how funny it was that we ran into each other, and then it was back to business as usual with me helping him de-stress from work and his relationship. He apparently didn’t think twice about the encounter. Phew!
Lewis: In your experience, what are the defining qualities of a sustainable, loving relationship?
Jaime: I believe that if you have the following qualities in a relationship that has a solid foundation and a deep love, then you have the chance to make it for the long run… oh, and you need to have fun also!
Authenticity: Both people show up entirely as themselves at the core. They know their worth, and they love themselves unconditionally, so they can love each other unconditionally.
Compassion: There is no judgment and no trying to change the other person; it’s accepting each other for all of their imperfections and knowing their limitations but loving them regardless.
Trust: Being able to trust each other is crucial, and being connected with yourself, your intuition can take you to the next level. Two people who trust themselves and honor themselves can trust and honor each other.
Value: Both people need to value one another. They need to feel like they are the luckiest people in the world to have each other. Knowing that your significant other is a gem and a special person keeps you feeling grateful for one another and the relationship. Expressing how much you value each other is a “must” also!
Lewis: What is the single best piece of advice you have ever received, and what piece of advice would you give to all those looking for love, but can’t seem to find it?
Jaime: (I picked two)
“You don’t owe anyone any explanations,” and “There are no guarantees in life.”
Both pieces of advice are from my dad, Keith Bronstein, a very wise and extraordinary man.
The first piece of advice is very empowering; it means that you never have to waste your time and energy explaining yourself- as long as you know your truth and you trust it, that’s all that matters.
The second one is all about encouragement to take chances and risks, once again trusting yourself that whatever it is that you’re called to do or say, you need to honor that and just go for it, trusting that whatever the outcome is going to be, will be the right outcome for you.
“The universe gives you what you focus on, so make sure that whatever you’re focusing on is what you DO want, not what you DON’T want.”
Trust yourself. Do the work to form a stronger connection with yourself, your intuition, and inner knowing. Learn to love yourself fully and unconditionally with no judgment. Do forgiveness and compassion work towards yourself and others to heal. Know that you did the best you could along with everyone in your life. You need to do this work so that you can feel whole and bring in “the one.” Our outside experiences are a reflection of our inner reality, so if you want to bring in “the one,” you need to be feeling great about yourself on the inside to attract a match who is authentically aligned with you inside and out. If you’re already in a relationship, doing this inner work will improve your connection with your significant other.
Lewis: Thanks so much for doing this with me, wishing you all the best for 2021 and beyond!
Jaime: Thanks for the interview. I am wishing you so much health and happiness and peace this new year and always! I’m sending lots of love and light!