Have you ever been terrified of speaking your truth? I can relate. My entire life I spent in fear of sharing my opinions, thoughts, and emotions. I knew it started in my childhood, but years of healing still couldn’t unlock the most critical wound I needed to face to start speaking my truth.
So, what finally shifted? I finally dared to ask myself 5 simple questions. The answers led me directly into a process of embracing the courage and boldness to begin creating the world of my dreams. It is this process which continues to allow me to speak my truth and attract the most beautiful people, who align with my purpose and mission in life.
Here are those 5 questions you can ask yourself any time you find yourself conflicted on whether or not to speak your truth.
1. What Benefit Are You Receiving by Not Speaking Your Truth?
Often, you’re afraid to say what’s on your mind because you fear what others will think. While you’ve most likely heard the phrase, “fear is just an illusion,” you can’t deny that there’s an emotion beneath the surface asking for a closer look. Give yourself some time to explore the feelings that come up when you think about a fearful situation, which may be requiring you to speak up for yourself. You’ll notice that there is some reward you receive for not speaking up. It may be fitting in or remaining safe amongst your peers, family, or community.
2. Do You Believe You Are the Only One Who Feels the Way You Do About This Particular Issue?
If you do, see if you can do some research online to find others who may already be vocal on this topic. You can search Google, YouTube, Twitter, Quora, and many other online platforms to give you more support. It’s important to know that there are others with similar opinions or feelings as you. If you know others feel the same as you, see if you can get some feedback or guidance on how they would communicate about something similar. I do this often with trusted friends and family, and I find it beneficial.
3. What Message Are You Telling Yourself and Others When You Don’t Speak Up?
The more I sat with this question, the more I realized I was subconsciously telling myself that I was not worthy. I was not enough just being myself and, if others knew how I felt, I would never be loved. Or, even worse, I would be kicked out of the tribe, where I felt safe and protected. I believed that to share my voice and my opinion would be the ultimate risk to my survival. It was not a risk I was willing to take. Somewhere in my mind, I trained myself to associate speaking up with ending up abandoned, alone, and unsafe in the world.
4. Who Else in Your Life Suffers When You Don’t Speak Up?
So often, you try to hide from the world to avoid confrontation and ensure that your world stays safe and intact. While you’re working so hard to pretend everything is okay, you don’t realize the people who are suffering as a result. Your inaction and unwillingness to speak up can mean your voice doesn’t matter, and neither does anyone else’s. There will be moments in life when you have the opportunity to take a stand for yourself or someone you may know. When those times come, what will you do?
5. Who Would You Have to Be to Be the Person Who Courageously Speaks Up When Necessary?
Let this question sink into your heart. It’s a tough one because it requires you to take a hard look at yourself and confront some of your deepest, darkest fears. You’ve spent a good portion of your adult life keeping these fears hidden from the rest of the world. Ask yourself what qualities someone would need to move through these fears and feel confident speaking their truth.
When I asked myself these core questions, I realized it was no longer worth hiding the real me for the sake of keeping others comfortable. The risk of stifling my voice, opinions, and truths was too significant for humanity.
Most importantly, I realized the person I needed to become was already inside me. All I needed to do was courageously show her to the world.