Founder of Clarity, Lisa Fei talks ‘Love and Ambition: The Modern Yin and Yang’

Perhaps you’ve noticed that when you have a spectacular week at work, things seem to flow much easier in your personal life. You’re happier, more relaxed, and the future seems more certain and hopeful.

Likewise, when things are blissful in your romantic relationship, the good in one’s life feels as if it vastly outweighs any negativity that occurs throughout the day, and even that just seems to bounce right off you, like you’re wearing a suit of armor made of love. Okay, that last bit might seem a little cheesy, but be assured that these correlations between love life and career are quite real.

“A successful love life unquestionably impacts one’s ambition and career. It is proven that being in a healthy and fulfilling relationship makes a person less stressed, which thereby makes one more productive and thus more successful at work. Furthermore, being in a healthy relationship raises self-image, confidence, and even the courage to face what might normally make one shutter quietly at one’s cubical,” says Lisa Fei, Founder of Clarity, the app for your love life.

Likewise, having a successful career provides more than just the means to stay financially afloat. Aside from being able to afford nice dates with your significant other, success in one’s professional life gives a general sense of relief from both financial stress, as well as that which stems from the fear of appearing as anything but successful and monetarily secure. What’s more, this is accompanied by a better sense of self-image, self-efficiency, and thus more confidence as we navigate our love lives and engage potential partners.

Alas, this success is certainly not always assured. Even then, one aspect is always at risk of consuming the other if balance is not achieved.

There are some intuitive questions that need to be raised. Noting that this correlation between success in one’s love life and career is not unlike the classic enigma of the chicken and the egg, one may ask whether job satisfaction impacts our romantic relationships, or does the state of our intimate relationships impact our workplace motivation?

They are so tightly interconnected and dependent on each other that a better question is: how can we maintain a balance between the two and set the appropriate boundaries to have satisfying and fulfilling love and work lives?”

Indeed, how do we go about balancing what are arguably the two most determinant factors of our lives — both in terms of success, as it is measured by ourselves and our peers, as well as our own personal fulfillment, confidence, and well-being?

Lisa Fei shares 5 thoughtful tips to consider:

  1. Be honest with yourself and your partner. Is your career more important at the moment? Be clear about where your priorities lie and what you will be able to give, contribute to the relationship.
  2. Make time for your relationship. Intimacy and connection are one of the most important indicators for overall life satisfaction. If you are making time for these, chances are, you will be more motivated and able to perform in the workplace.
  3. Create space between yourself and your work. Set boundaries with yourself, such as not answering emails after a certain time.
  4. Take your partner to work (figuratively speaking). Share frustrations, wins, ask for their opinion, etc. While also not letting work become the only topic of conversation.
  5. Create rituals to transition from one environment to the other. If you’ve had an argument at home, take deep breaths, go for a drive, sing in the car, or grab a coffee before resuming work. If it’s been a particularly tough day at work, consider going for a walk, listening to a podcast, or venting to a coworker or friend before unloading the baggage on your significant other.

Lisa Fei also shares that if you are a high performer and ambitious, be honest about your priorities with your partner, set time aside to genuinely participate in the relationship .  Setting strict boundaries to keep the troubles of work from seeping into your personal life, include your partner in the daily stress and victories of work by confiding in them .

 While not allowing it to dominate your interactions for the rest of the evening, and leaving your negative reactions from work at work. Likewise, if you’re more relationship-oriented, don’t allow your relationship to consume you to the point of potentially compromising your job. It’s important to leave your love-related frustrations at the door of your workplace.

It is beyond doubt that these steps will ultimately lead you to your desired outcome: a healthy relationship between your love life and your career. In today’s world, they are often the yin and yang of our lives, but should you be willing to keep these five steps in mind, finding that equilibrium between the personal and professional spheres should come with relative ease.


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