At a young age, we are taught to set goals. We go out into the world trying to prove to everyone – and ourselves – that we are going to do something great. Despite where we came from, what we went through, and who we are, we want to accomplish bigger and better things. But sometimes, we can outgrow goals that we’ve set for our younger self or different people.
Kute Blackson, best-selling author, next-generation thought leader, and mindfulness guru joins this episode of Making Bank to talk about the importance of setting realistic goals. A lot of the time people are hesitant to change their life course which can hinder growth in the long run. Learn how to set beneficial goals while avoiding the common mistakes that entrepreneurs – and humans – make.
Setting Beneficial Goals
The challenge to setting goals is to think about some of the goals that we wanted to be based on who we thought we were. And who we thought we were depended on our conditioning, based on our parents, based on our unmet needs from childhood that might result in trauma. So these goals are set to validate you from the person that you were back then, to prove to your younger self that you’ve made it.
“Many times, the goal that we’ve set, if we were to look at them, or what we thought we wanted, as we grow and evolve and mature, we start realizing that some of the things we thought were goals – we wanted – weren’t goals we wanted. They were just what we thought we wanted based on who we thought we were,” Kute says.
And some of these goals aren’t even what we want. We have the experience of achieving something that we’ve worked for and feeling let down. Suddenly, the thing that we wanted to happen so bad isn’t giving you the satisfaction that you thought you were going to get.
“Question the goals you’re setting in the first place, because they may not be the real goals you want. But then I’m saying if you set goals and as you set goals, do the best you can as authentically as you can, but don’t get so attached to those goals.” Kute says that being attached to goals creates a sense of anxiety and stress because, in our attachment, we start limiting the infinite creativity and possibilities of the universe.
Goals will take you on an evolutionary journey that will cause you to grow no matter what because you learn. You might not get the outcome of the goal that you want, but it will take you somewhere where you need to go. It will take you to a new place in which you could discover a new aspect of what you’re going to do.
If we show up and do our part and take action, unlimited potential can manifest to us in our lives beyond what we could imagine.
How Being Honest With Yourself Helps Growth
One of the places where people can begin to get stuck when trying to set goals and find what they want is by telling themselves lies. In many ways, we are constantly asking ourselves and rationalizing with our minds as to why we believe things are true. When deep down, we are just taking our best guesses. We’re not telling ourselves the truth about who we are, what we need, how we feel, and where we are at.
“Honesty is a key to begin shifting your life…Pain is a signal to me. Pain is not bad. Pain is showing you where some part of you is out of alignment or lying and not telling the truth…the more in alignment you are with your integrity, with your truth, I believe the more present you will be in the moment.” Kute places importance on bringing yourself to your truth, which requires you to reflect on what you are doing in your life that brings you joy. That brings you purpose.
When we are being honest with ourselves, we are present. When we are present, we’re going to be more productive. When we are more productive, we are more successful. Clear out the things in your life that are taking up time and energy that are being wasted – that isn’t allowing you to fully live in the present.
Yes, you will lose some things, but the things that you lose in the first place never belonged to you. Sometimes, you get stuck in the trap of success, because something is working and we keep doing it because we are familiar with it. That’s when we get comfortable. When we are comfortable, we aren’t growing. As human beings, as entrepreneurs, comfort doesn’t allow for growth.
And if you’re constantly growing, you’re going to outgrow your old goals and your old self. At the end of the day, you will be the right person in the right moment, in the right moment, the right time. The journey might not look like what you thought it was going to look like, but it will end up better than what you could’ve imagined.