How to Stop Controlling and Start Directing Your Life

Most of us in our life at some stage have heard the phrase “We can’t control others but we can control ourselves!” So why is it then, that even when you do control yourself, your thoughts, your actions and your behaviours, you still don’t get what you want?

The answer to this is simple; control is our ability to direct. And when we talk/think about controlling ourselves we usually refer to directing our conscious mind through our conscious thoughts, actions and behaviours. However 95% of our life is run by the subconscious mind. Therefore 95% of the actions, thoughts, behaviours and emotions we experience in our reality originate beyond our consciousness, which we are not aware of.

So, what does this mean?

As our conscious mind performs only 1 to 5% of the minds work, changing our lives using the conscious mind and its cognitive ability limits our capacity to create lasting change. In order to truly tap into our personal power and have the ability to create the lives we truly desire, we need to change our approach and learn how to direct the subconscious mind.

How do I direct my subconscious mind?

The answer you seek is right in front of you! As I mentioned earlier, your subconscious mind controls 95% of your life. Therefore the manifestation of your reality is a by-product of all that you believe, think, feel in your subconscious mind. So what are you creating in your life?

The first real step to any change is awareness. Pay attention to what shows up in your life and make note of it. If it’s appearing in your reality it’s because you have a belief, thought or emotion that is drawing that person, situation, scenario or event into your existence.

Create change.

Once you begin taking note of your subconscious limitations, you can begin to create change in your life. How do you do this? By redirecting the subconscious mind and releasing limitations, limiting beliefs, trauma, fears, trapped emotions, hurt, pain & suffering held within the subconscious mind.

How can I release all of the limitations in my subconscious mind?

Learning to release the limitations held within the subconscious mind is a journey, it’s not something you can do in one hour. Spend time everyday looking within yourself for the answers you seek.

To help you along your journey within, I have outlined a series of questions you can begin to ask yourself in regards to any perceived limitation that may appear in your life. I highly recommend getting a journal and answering these questions with regard to any situation, scenario or event in your life that displeases you in any way!

  1. As I mentioned previously, pay attention to what shows up in your life. What are you currently creating in your reality?
  2. The situations, scenarios and events you are creating in your life which displease you; what is it about them that displeases you? When was the very first time you experienced this in your life? Hint: Usually our first experience of any limitation is created between the ages of 0-7 years of age, as during that stage we do not possess full consciousness. Your subconscious mind has all the answers, so give yourself the time and space to allow the answer to surface. It may come in the form of a memory, a number or even a feeling. Trust the answer you get!
  3. What were the emotions you felt/experienced during that very first experience (which you identified in question 2)
  4. What emotional resources did you need in that very first experience for things to play out differently? (e.g. self-acceptance, forgiveness, a shoulder to cry on, etc.)
  5. What did that first experience teach you?
  6. What actually happened in that first experience? As most of our first experiences of any limitation happened between the ages of 0-7 years of age, our young brains at that time didn’t have the capability or the awareness to understand what actually happened. So close your eyes and take yourself back to that memory and look at it from a higher perspective. What is the truth behind that event?

As you begin to answer the questions above to any perceived limitation you experience in your life, your conscious perspective and awareness about the situation will change the beliefs, emotions, and thoughts within your subconscious mind. Over time, these internal changes will begin to manifest into your reality and your external world will begin to mirror your new internal subconscious beliefs.

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