There is a massive misunderstanding around the concept of being an introvert. I am not a psychologist, but I speak from personal experience. I have also been empowering people to do overcome their fears around live video, with astounding results. All of those people claimed they were introverts and would feel extremely uncomfortable with video before I worked with them.
I want to share with you what I have experienced and observed in my life and through my time working with these people. Being an introvert has everything to do with how we spend our personal energy. It is about being comfortable with your own company. It is about the need to recharge after interacting with other people, often getting tired faster (which makes us less of social butterflies). Does this stop us from being visible? From being leaders? From building massive followings?
The answer is not always obvious, but it may surprise you. Most of those outgoing Hollywood superstars and the biggest names in leadership (like Richard Branson), marketing geniuses (like Russel Brunson), or some of the biggest personal brands in the world (like Oprah) confessed to being introverts. It does not stop them from appearing on screen, hosting a show, or producing outstanding public speeches.
My research into the mind of the introvert suggests that, amongst like-minded people, we tend to get quite chatty, even hyper, and can easily be mistaken for an extravert. This happens to me ALL THE TIME when people watch my videos! Or when my Empowered Visibility Tribe gets together for our Mastermind calls. I am in the zone, and I practically have to be held back with my personality oozing unstoppably through the screen.
Yet, you would be massively surprised meeting me at a party. I tend to be the quiet one in the corner, having some quality time with the house dog. And it is one reason you will not often meet me at large live conferences or networking events unless I am one of the speakers. At least online, I get a button to switch it all off when I start feeling depleted, which happens quite fast to be honest. You should see me when I have had 3 or 4 hours of calls, interviews, or any face-to-face interaction with people outside my family. I am practically “cooked” at the end of such a day.
But with that said, I grew up with a calling to be a leader, a guide, a calling to representing a vision, a movement. I grew up taking the first step in a direction everyone else was only thinking about exploring. The calling was stronger than my inability to have enough energy for prolonged socialising with other people. I felt the mission, and I chose to follow what I needed to do to fulfil it.
That is just my personal experience, and this is what I do in my business and my life daily — I make decisions. I make choices. When I see the impact my work is making in other people’s lives, it all becomes worth it at the end. And it also feels fantastic.
So why would being an introvert stop you?
It is precisely where the confusion lies. Having a fear of being visible is not about being an introvert at all. It has everything to do with shyness. And shyness is NOT about energy.
Shyness is about having fears.
Fear of being judged.
Fear of losing your status.
Fear of failure.
Fear of not being perfect.
Fear of rejection.
We all have our fears. The good news is that fear does not have to be a permanent thing. Being an introvert is in your nature. Fear is something you can overcome when you decide to. Most fears tend to appear larger than they are. Some are entirely irrational, and you can overcome them by taking a specific action. For example, if you are fearful of doing live video, you can join a live video challenge. Just like one of my transformational 11-day Live Video Challenges, that would take place in a small and safe environment, in a private group.
Yes, it will feel terrifying to go live for the first time. But you will find yourself surrounded by people who are going through the same struggle. Sometimes they will come across great to you. But at the same time, they would often admit during the first video to being terrified, shaking, and generally going through precisely the same feelings as you. Then, when you hit that go-live button, they will cheer you on, support, and encourage you.
Together everything feels easier. Together we can get over our fears. It is why challenging your fears in a group environment is so effective.
And here is the secret no one is talking about. Everyone, even the Queen of Visibility, feels resistance to doing live video, especially if there was a break, a holiday, or a period when our attention is turned inwards – into our souls. It feels challenging indeed to “give our energy” during those times. However, resistance is always a sign of gaining momentum. Resistance is the sign that we MUST move towards that direction because the greatest rewards hide behind our greatest resistances.
It is ok to feel those fears now. But what is not ok is not trying to find ways to overcome them. And it is not ok to use being an introvert as an excuse not to make a choice: a choice to feel the fear and do whatever you need anyway.
A choice to be fearless.