How many times have you been thinking about doing something, making the leap, or taking that risk, only to be stopped by self doubt, left going “hmmm, I don’t know if I should”. This is your hmmm moment, the moment that stops you from following your dreams, from moving forward, and it is holding you and your business back. Hmmm moments are stopping your personal development, your financial freedom, and your inevitable happiness. Today we will learn these three quick steps to help turn your hmmm moments, into aha moments. Although we may not have those big hmm moments all the time, we do have small ones every day. Learning to not only change the way you see these moments, but changing your thoughts when these moments hit can put your business, happiness, and life into overdrive!
Step One: Notice Your Hmm
Everyone has hmm moments. Even the wealthiest, most successful people in the world have moments where they fall into thoughts of self-doubt and negativity. What is different between those who have achieved success and those who haven’t been that those who have achieved success notice that thought. When you notice these thoughts you have given yourself a chance to change the outcome. It’s easy to say, “yeah, just notice it”, but that’s not real advice is it? Because when we are immersed in thoughts of doubt and negativity, it is hard to see anything else. Lucky for us most thoughts that are filled with negativity and doubt have a lot in common, so we can point out what to look for. Here are some of the main things to look for in your daily life.
- Constant need for approval
- Constantly thinking of past unhappiness
- Labeling self
- Constant judgment of others
These are some key things to look for in your life, if these are common themes for you, there is a good chance you are falling victim to negative thinking. The key to noticing your thoughts is recognizing your patterns, what you focus on negatively, and owning up to the fact that you are falling into these negative thoughts.
Step Two: Admit Your Problem
Once you notice the pattern of negativity in your life, admitting you have a problem seems like it would be easy, right? Well, admitting fault is a problem for a lot of people, especially when you are caught in a self-doubt cycle. Most people who constantly are second-guessing themselves, or are stuck thinking negatively, have what they call a victim mindset. Now, a victim mindset has a person asking themselves, “Why me? What did I do to deserve this? Its always me!” Where does that kind of thinking get anyone? It will get you stuck circling round and round in your mind thinking the same thoughts, producing the same results, and asking yourself the same questions. I know it sounds like an odd concept, but you need to hold a self-intervention. What this is going to do for you is help you admit you have a problem.
Seem too weird for you? Then ask other people for help. Go around to friends and family and ask, “ Am I a negative person? Do you think I’m holding myself back?” This should be easy for almost everyone, because you aren’t actually asking for help, you are simply asking people who know you well a question.
Step Three: Find the Root of the Problem
Even if we know that there is a problem, and we admit it to ourselves, we still have to figure out what the root of the problem is to solve it. Finding the root of the problem is difficult without someone else to ask the correct questions. This can pose a problem for some people because not everyone is comfortable sharing. Here are some questions to ask yourself to help you find the root of your negative thinking.
- When was the first time you noticed your problem?
- When was the first time you felt you couldn’t accept or didn’t deserve what you are having trouble with?
- So you feel this way only around a certain person?
These questions may take a bit of thought, and you may remember a time that wasn’t significant at first, but continue to think about different times you thought like this. It may take time to find the first time and the actual root of the problem, but once you start asking yourself these questions, you will start to be more aware not only of how often you think this way, but also how it negatively affects your life. When you find the root of the problem, you can decide the best path to fixing it. This is easily the most ambiguous step, but also one of the most important, without finding and fixing the root of the problem, you will be fighting an uphill battle against negative thoughts.
Every person has negative thoughts, but once you allow yourself to succumb to these thoughts, you give away your power. Choosing to fight through your negative thoughts and self-doubt can change how you think on a daily basis. Bringing a change in your mindset from ‘I can’t’ to ‘how can I’ or ‘I will’ will not only bring happiness, but it will also help you to grow, or scale your business, and take more risks leading to greater reward. Remember the thing that limits you the most, is your own mind.Opinions expressed here are the opinions of the author. Influencive does not endorse or review brands mentioned; does not and can not investigate relationships with brands, products, and people mentioned and is up to the author to disclose. VIP Contributors and Contributors, amongst other accounts and articles, are professional fee-based.
Stephen Dela Cruz is an author, speaker and serial entrepreneur who specializes in helping budding entrepreneurs double their income in their first year. He’s built several 7 figure businesses and in his national best selling book, Entrepreneursh*t he shares strategies around time and money management to help beginning entrepreneurs soar.