The 10 Principles of Winning People Over

how to win people


The 10 principles mentioned in this article can be used to develop both personal and professional relationships. If you are looking to make friends in a new city, or to network and communicate with people at work, these are proven strategies that will enable you to build better relationships.

#1 Avoid Arguments

Arguments will never have a positive outcome. Disagreements are certain and happen all the time due to the difference in thinking, but it is how we handle these disagreements that makes the difference between resolution or indifference. Instead of confrontation, it’s always best to listen and understand the other person’s point of view which can lead to new insights and eventually you learning something new.

“A man convinced against his will, is of the same opinion still” —Benjamin Franklin

#2 Show Respect for Other’s Opinions

You should never tell the other person that they are wrong. A great skill to have, especially in avoiding arguments, is to respect other people’s opinions. When we tell someone that they are wrong and neglect their opinion, we are basically insulting them without even realizing it. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. If you are open to other’s opinions and listen to them carefully, we can come to a common ground and have a good, healthy discussion instead of an argument.


#3  Always Admit It When You Are Wrong

People often think being wrong is a sign of weakness. This is incorrect, it’s a part of being human. Most people tend to make a simple mistake into a bigger one just because they cannot admit to the other person that they are wrong. Once you admit a mistake, you are clearly showing the other person that you have a strong character and the desire to make things right again.

#4 Be Friendly

In an argument, no matter how right you are, your goal should not be too simply prove a point. The goal should be to express your opinion in a friendly manner, have a discussion about it, and to listen to one another instead of proving who is right and wrong. Always use a friendly and neutral tone and pitch when speaking, and have a relaxed posture which shows you are calm and having a discussion.


#5 Get the Other Person to Agree with You

Almost everyone has disagreements in their relations with friends, families or even with strangers. However, when we take the time to find a common ground or agree to something we set a positive tone for the conversation. When this is established we can get the other person to agree by saying yes instead of no. When you get someone to see eye to eye with you it keeps them open and less defensive.


#6 Always Listen & Let the Other Person Do the Talking

When we listen carefully to someone while they are talking and don’t interrupt them, we are basically signaling to them that what they have to say is important. When we allow them to speak completely, we are encouraging them to share their thoughts and ideas. This will make them comfortable around you and will be able to establish a more open and honest relationship in the future.


#7 Let the Person Feel That the Idea Is Theirs

People tend to feel passionate about their ideas compared to ideas of others. When they share their idea, they want the other person to validate it by saying it’s good. By asking questions and providing suggestions, it’s often possible to help someone come to the conclusion that the idea was their own. If the idea they are working on comes from themselves, then they are invested in working to make the idea come to light.

[bctt tweet=”“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion” ” username=”startupily”]


#8 See Things from the Other Person’s Point of View

In order to have an effective relationship, one of the key skills is to have the ability to see things from the other person’s point of view. This skill will make the person feel important and understood. When you understand why someone has that certain point of view, the goal becomes more about what is right than about who is right. This is called empathy.


#9 Be Sympathetic to Others Ideas

When we put ourselves in someone else’s shoes and look at their point of view, we will be able to have a positive understanding and interaction instead of an argument. There is a simple phrase to use when showing empathy: “I don’t blame you at all for how you feel. If I were you, I would feel just as you do.” This phrase will bring forward a positive foundation to start a conversation.


#10 Dramatize Your Ideas

In order to get your idea noticed, you should present it in a funny story or add a little drama to it so it gets noticed. When presenting ideas in a unique way, you will be able to stand out and get a better chance of getting noticed and having the idea accepted.

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