As a human being, you and me share certain traits in common. We both need oxygen to breathe. We both have emotions that take control from time-to-time. We are both made up of bits and pieces that were first created in deep space.
We both enjoy Seinfeld (because who the heck doesn’t like Seinfeld).
And we both make mistakes…
This last one is a biggie. I’ve spent my recent past interviewing a lot of entrepreneurs about their biggest mistakes, and how they turned these into success. I’ve learned a lot about a lot, and one of the suspicions I had cemented into a belief is that we do indeed (all of us) make mistakes.
Sure, we can avoid some of these mistakes, but many of them will happen regardless. It isn’t about trying to rid mistakes, failure, and adversity from your life, but rather learning how to overcome them. This is where the magic happens, and this is one of the traits that separate those super awesome and successful human beings from everyone else.
So how do these super awesome and successful human beings achieve this?
There are many ways, but one of the biggest things they do not do is…
They Do Not Play The Blame Game…
Playing the blame game may be the most pointless exercise you can ever do.
At times, it may be valid to do so. Someone may have messed up in a grand way, and you may have every right to be angry and blame them. Sometimes this idiot may be you, and you too deserve blame (both by yourself, and by others).
But let me ask you… what does this achieve?
It may make you feel better in the short term, but do you find solutions in ‘blame’?
No. No you do not.
In fact, all playing the blame game achieves is, it keeps you stuck between a rock and a hard place. It ensures you cling to the pain of your mistake, but not move forward and find a solution.
You are, quite frank, playing the victim. You ‘wish’ and ‘hope’ it wasn’t so. You sit high and almighty in your chair, looking down on those you blame. Or you kneel before your chair, crying because you are the idiot to blame.
And considering the name of the game is to turn your mistakes into success, this isn’t good.
So if you’re tempted to play the blame game now or in the future, don’t.
It will not serve you, and it never will.
Welcome to Your Self-Inflicted Pity Party…
There are two sides to blame’s coin, and the first is to blame yourself. I’ve been there (many times). I have felt like an idiot. I have beat myself up. I take it all and place it on my shoulders, and feel better in a way, because this is what I deserve.
I’m an idiot, and I deserve to treat myself like one.
But with all that weight on your shoulders… well, you have no way of making strides forward. You’re stuck. Your knees buckle. You slip lower and lower until you’re flat against the ground. This is what blaming yourself achieves. It isn’t a solution, but rather a self-inflicted pity party.
What is the point?
Sure, you may be to blame. Sure, it may be your fault. Sure, you may be an idiot.
You’re human, so you will make mistakes. There’s no shame in this, but there is shame in staying down and placing your head under a rock. Get back to work. Turn bad into good. Overcome your mistake and ignite success out of it. In other words, quit blaming yourself.
It does not serve you, and it never will.
So What if it is Somebody Else’s Fault…
The flipside to this is that it may not be your fault. It may be somebody else. It may be an employee, a partner, a collaborator, the government, or mother nature.
You feel hard done by. You deserve retribution, and that other person should pay. All this may be true, but again… who cares!
Does blaming him or her turn your misfortunes around? If you get angry enough, or shout loud enough about how badly they treated you, or kick and scream and manipulate the other person… does it solve your problem?
Or does it keep you stuck where you are, unable to progress.
Again, I’ve been here (many times). We are in our own heads all day long, so we create these biased views on life. We feel entitled to certain progress, and that things should go as we want them to. When this doesn’t happen, we feel let down.
We want to blame someone else. We want to point the finger. We want to make them pay.
This isn’t your job. Your job is to turn bad into good; it’s to turn mistakes into success.
Life is one big problem you’re tasked to solve on a daily (and ongoing) basis. You will not solve it; at least, not all of it. But fight the fight you must. In other words, quit blaming others.
It does not serve you, and it never will.
Now, I know you know this. I’m aware I haven’t given you new information. You don’t want to play the blame game, but chances are you do (every single day). You are human, and in the same way we make mistakes, we unfortunately place blame onto others and onto ourselves.
The thing is, you can and will learn from your mistakes.
Whereas blame… there are few lessons to learn from it (other than the lesson that you are playing the victim and being an entitled little child).
So assuming you are an adult human being who desires to build a life of meaning, quit playing the blame game.
It will not serve you, and it never will.Opinions expressed here are the opinions of the author. Influencive does not endorse or review brands mentioned; does not and can not investigate relationships with brands, products, and people mentioned and is up to the author to disclose. VIP Contributors and Contributors, amongst other accounts and articles, are professional fee-based.
Matthew Turner is the author of The Successful Mistake: How 163 of The World’s Greatest Entrepreneurs Transform Failure Into Success. After interviewing 163 authority figures, Matthew’s unearthed how successful people overcome failure and adversity, to not only ensure they don’t ruin their livelihood, but craft their greatest idea out of it. To grab your free & exclusive paperback copy of the book, visit successfulmistake.com/influencive