I really want you to think about what you’re doing with your life right now as you read this. Life is short, as you guys know.
It’s time to think about what’s happening. It’s time to wake up and think about what you want to have occur. What are you not doing? What are you not changing up? If you’re sitting there not loving what you’re doing, or not loving the relationship you’re in, or not loving the friends you have, you are not loving life. It’s time to reevaluate.
Every single day you should wake up, and you should be so grateful. I truly mean this because every day when I get out of bed, I wake up so grateful for my breath, so grateful for another chance, for just being alive.
Every Single Day Is a Brand New Start
You can change everything in that moment. Even just changing it right now as you’re reading. It’s not even about having to wait for tomorrow to start. You can choose to change the direction of your life right now if you really want something.
You have to really truly get into your own mind and body and figure out what you need to do or what’s not working—not trying something out of an imaginary thought that you will fail. You don’t want to sit there and worry about some failure.
You are going to experience failure. You have to get over this idea that you’re going to fail because you are—at some point—going to fail, and you’re going to survive. You’ll learn a lot of lessons from the failures that you have so don’t sit there waiting around because you’re afraid of failing.
You cannot wait around because of some stupid fear of possibly failing, because you will fail.
That’s part of life, and if you’re going to sit there and wait around because you’re worried about failing, why start? That’s just fucking stupid. You don’t want to stay stagnant. You are meant to move, you are meant to evolve, you are meant to do stuff, you are meant to ride the tides, not be swallowed by them. Do not let yourself stay silent, do not bite your tongue, do not be a doormat, do not give away your time.
Do not spend on frivolous crap or spend time on not serving people, do not suffocate under siege, do not give up after one, two, three, four fucking failures.
The Only One That Can Make You Quit Is Yourself
Not anyone else out there—not your parents, not your best friend, not your coworker—not some guru or mentor that you have and not any random troll on the Internet. No one can make you stop until you decide to stop. The only person that has full control of your life is you. Do not give your soul away. Do not let anyone instill doubt into your dreams. Do not allow anyone to weaken you. Do not think your presence and voice are not seen or heard. Do not let them win.
You just never know who’s reading your stuff, watching or listening to you. You never know who is paying attention. You just don’t know. Get away from how many likes you have or how many comments you’re getting. That shit doesn’t matter. You have no idea who your messages are reaching. You have no idea who could randomly see what you’re putting out there.
Do not hold back. Do not stop trying. Keep trying, keep pivoting, keep failing, keep going. Do not discredit your attempts. Do not let one heartbreak close your heart from love again. Do not let your light be dimmed. Do not hold back to let someone else feel safe.
Do not believe your haters because they do not have any say in the matter.
No one gets to control your life. No one gets to tell you to stop; only you get to choose when you fucking stop. Do not stop.
Do not lose yourself in the game, the gloss, the relationships, the friendships, the jobs. Do not lose yourself in life.
It’s so crucial that you just learn how to be truly yourself and always authentic because if you’re holding back out of fear, you are wearing masks. If you’re trying to fit into some stupid thing, group, social setting so you feel wanted or desired, take the mask off and be yourself.
Have strong opinions and uphold your values. Do not bet more than you have. It’s about the balance of knowing when to bet and when not to bet because life is a gamble. It’s up to you to actually bet or not bet. Live a little. Live on the edge. Don’t be so fearful that you’re not going to go out there and do anything you want. Don’t follow the herd—choose to be different.
Choose to be you. Fight if you have to. Don’t put all your pennies away; life is happening right now. Spend cautiously. Have a rainy day fund but live your fucking life.
Don’t just sit there putting all your money in the bank or giving all your money away or spending it on all this frivolous crap that you’re not going to take your deathbed. None of this shit matters. Life is meant to be enjoyed in the now, not when you’re turning seventy or eighty or ninety. Don’t clutch on to the edge. That’s the worst feeling. Being in that place where you’re holding on so tightly to the edge of this comfortable place, and then you’re looking down and you’re afraid to fall.
You have to free fall every now and then because the only way to get closer is to have movement happen. Movement creates more enjoyment. Squash fear by taking calculated or not calculated risks. Do not ask. Do not overthink, do not waste hours, days, months and years. Do something, do anything once. Do not let fear take over and do not hold back.
You’ll be dead soon. Live now, breathe deep. Fight harder, love more. The only way is to take action, to fucking live, to try something and to put something out there. If your heart is in it, and if you have the intention and your true self is in it—that’s all that matters.
You Need to Give Yourself Permission
You can’t sit there and wait for someone else to give you permission. You can’t wait for enough money to change something up. You can’t wait for an argument or for them to cheat on you, or to get fired or laid off or for some scenario to occur where it kind of gives you that easy out.
Everyone has a different risk tolerance. I understand that. However, you don’t know what could happen tomorrow. You just don’t know what could happen in the next five years. You never know because no one can see into the future. If you aren’t happy right now, you have to change something. Why would you want to keep living other people’s dreams? We have to get away from this idea that we have to live for other people.
The only person that’s going to give you permission is yourself. The only person who is going to ever make you quit or stop or move or do anything is yourself. You can seek inspiration from a lot of people. You can read a lot of books. You can ask for permission. You can get everyone else’s approval, but it doesn’t matter because the only one that’s going to make you do anything is yourself. And that’s that.
If you aren’t happy right now, you have to change something. Why would you want to keep living other people’s dreams? We have to get away from this idea that we have to live for other people. The only person that’s going to give you permission is yourself.
The only one that’s going to ever make you quit or stop or move or do anything is yourself. You can seek inspiration from a lot of people, you can read a lot of books, you can ask for permission. You can get everyone else’s approval, but it doesn’t matter because the only one that’s going to make you do anything is yourself. And that’s that.
It’s Not until We Stop Living for Others That You Can Start Living for Yourself
You can’t wait around. You can’t wait for someone else to give you this shot, to push you off the cliff. You just have to free fall; you have to go. You have to give yourself the permission to actually try something and know that you’re going to fail that’s completely normal. That’s part of being human. That’s just part of life. It’s part of our evolution here on Earth right now. Believe in yourself. Believe that you are a great individual.
If you don’t believe in yourself, it’s not going to happen. It’s going to be so much harder for anyone else in this world to believe in you. You just have to believe in yourself.
You just have to show up in the world and try stuff and do stuff and take these steps or take these risks or fall off these cliffs.
Sometimes you’re going to hit a trampoline, and you will bounce right back. Other times you actually hit the pavement, but you’re always going to survive because you don’t get handed more than you can handle.
Whatever you believe in, whether it be God or Allah or some other higher power—whatever it is that you’re believing in. I truly believe that there is something greater than all of us, and we never get handed more than we can handle. I know in the moments when you’re in that fucked up place when you literally have not two pennies to scrape together.
You just you don’t know how you’re going to ever get out of it. and that’s when you hit the fucking pavement, and you’re like, “I think I’m fucking done. I think it’s over.”
But you just never know what’s going to happen, so never think that it’s done. It’s not done until you are not breathing. You’re still able to do stuff. You’re able to pivot and learn and get past your failures. You don’t want to sit there and worry about what people are going to think of you for the low moment or the failures.
I understand that you’re going to worry about how to get beyond this, or how you’re going to “save face” or how you are going to fix all the shit that happened in the past. You just have to be in the present moment and know that you can reboot.
If you are still breathing, you can reboot.
Understand that you’re not going to be given more than you can handle. Some people can handle a lot of shit, and some people can only handle a little bit. This is all energy, and this is this is how I know that I’m really fucking resilient because I’ve been handed so much. Maybe it’s not much to someone else, but we can’t compare.
Just like we can’t compare what other people are doing, how much money these people are making because some of it’s not true, some of it is glorified, some of it’s falsified. Some of it is true, but you just can’t take anything at surface level. You really can’t.
You can’t compare your struggles, your hardships or your failures to someone else’s because what you see as a failure and low moments will be different than another person. Life moves on, and you’re not going to be given more than you can handle—understand that. You’re going to survive unless you’re not breathing. You can make your life—anything you want, right now. You can choose to change your life.
It’s up to you create your own life and then go out and live it. Don’t wait for anyone to tell you it’s okay. You don’t need people’s permission. You don’t need to have anyone tell you what to do or what not to do. You are the authority of your life. Go out and live your fucking life with no regrets.
Most importantly, if you love someone, tell him or her. You never know what tomorrow may have in store. You can learn a lesson each and every single day you’re alive, and that’s why failure is fun. You learn, and you evolve. You pivot. You grow as a person.
It’s not easy, but the failures help. It’s better than sitting in your chair at home too afraid to go out into the world. You can literally sit at home because you’re afraid to go out because of all the crime, but something could happen right inside of your home. You just don’t know.
Something could happen on the highway or on the bus, or the cab, or the subway. You just don’t know. Life is short. Don’t sit around and wait.
Don’t sit around waiting out of fear—go and live your fucking life.
Opinions expressed here are the opinions of the author. Influencive does not endorse or review brands mentioned; does not and can not investigate relationships with brands, products, and people mentioned and is up to the author to disclose. VIP Contributors and Contributors, amongst other accounts and articles, are professional fee-based.
Ashley Taylor Yannello is the hostess of a refreshing daily podcast, Real Talk with Ashley and the creator of supportive courses to support you wherever you find yourself in life. Ashley offers up a fresh, real and fun approach to transforming your life. She blends spirituality, personal development and life lessons with a dash of no nonsense humor, and brutal honesty. Ashley has a huge heart, is a ENFJ and loves authentically connecting with people all over the world! Ashley believes energy is everything. She has been seen on Huffington Post, Mind Body Green, Cafe Truth, and Wild Sister to name a few.