For a long time, the main role of men has been and still is the prey. He has been the breadwinner, the head of the family. But more often, we see situations where the wife takes care of the well-being of the family independently, and the husband is engaged in household chores. In some families, this is quite fine.
But in others, the woman is tired of carrying the financial load and is wondering how to get their man to work. This is not an easy task, especially if he is already used to sitting at home all the time, not earning much, or enjoying his life.
Classification of Personalities
First, let’s discover what type of personality he has.
Narcissistic`s motto is: “I am smarter, more professional, and more valuable in the world!” And overestimated ambitions are difficult to appreciate. An “irreplaceable master” takes on an overwhelming job and soon loses interest in it.
He explains his failures by the fact that he was underestimated, that favorable conditions were not created, and that he goes to work for a new position, preferably a leading one. Ultimately, the narcissist concludes that it is impossible to find a decent income in our country.
A slacker doesn’t like to work at all. It is pathological lazy people who most often equip a comfortable home sofa as a workplace.
This fragile person feels blue even because of minor failures. Melancholic people react painfully to any criticism and torment themselves with self-criticism. Unfriendly to colleagues. The workplace seems to them like an enemy camp or hell on the earth. Such a person does not stay long in one place; gradually, it becomes more difficult for him to force himself to look for a new job.
He is not lazy. He just does not like people and constant communication. The work collective annoys him. He often creates conflict situations to get fired as soon as possible.
“Mom’s son” is used to relying on his parents or his wife for everything. Quite often, he is financially untenable, choosing temporary work and not even thinking about a permanent job.
He is afraid of making a mistake, so he refuses a good job from the very beginning. He doesn’t even submit a resume. His potential vacancy becomes occupied by a less qualified but self-confident competitor.
Having received several rejections or several job changes in a row, a man may begin to lose confidence in his abilities. Each personality type reacts to failures in different ways. But they all need family support.
3 Steps to Motivate the Husband to Get a Job
You can use all of these steps, or you can choose the one you like the most.
Step 1. Inspire your husband to get a job.
As the saying goes: “Women inspire men to great feats.” But it’s even harder to inspire a husband to look for work.
There are many tips on the Internet on how to motivate people to look for a job. And they are mostly based on conversations. This is the most painless way.
Start a conversation with your husband about your family, goals, trips you want to take this year. Let your dreams guide you. Hint to your husband that you need a stable financial situation to achieve all these great goals. And your salary is barely enough for utilities.
You can make a story and say that your job will be laid off and your salary will be cut. Remember the time when your husband worked, and you felt like you were behind a stone wall. The main message of such a frank conversation is to make your husband feel like a knight again, ready to perform feats, the main weapon of which will be his work.
Step 2. Use the power of Math.
Talk about your family’s financial situation. Sit down at the table together. List your budget and expenses for the month. Make it clear to your husband that the salary is not enough to cover utilities, child education, and trips.
Step 3. Search for understanding.
Based on the classification above, try to understand what prevents your husband from finding a good job.
Together, try to figure out the best options for continuing to work. If your husband is misanthrope, consider remote work from home. If there are opportunities, and finances allow, you can spend some time on additional education for the narcissistic. Go to advanced training courses to apply for a high-paying position. For an infantile man, you can offer a job based on his hobby. After a couple of such vacancies, you will notice how your husband’s eyes glow with happiness, and he is already looking for such vacancies himself.
Make good job application documents together. For this, you can use an online builder like GetCoverLetter.com for cover letters and resumes.
Step 4. Have faith and give support.
Don’t get hung up on rejection. Encourage your husband after each interview. The feeling of support will keep his motivation from fading away.
How can I help my husband get a better job?
If your husband is already working, but you want to help him advance in his career, you should unbiasedly assess his strengths and weaknesses. And act according to a plan:
- Discuss with your husband in what direction he would like to develop. One profession has many specializations—for example, a copywriter. You can work as an SEO specialist, as an SMM copywriter, content manager, technical writer, etc.
- Search on the internet for information on continuing education. Try to use different services. The acquisition of new knowledge will allow him to keep up with the times and set him apart from competitors.
- Finding a suitable vacancy requires sending your resume with a cover letter. If your husband’s candidacy is considered positively, then he will be invited for an interview.
- Prepare for the interview. Things like answers to the most common questions, a suit, and a copy of your resume and cover letter should be prepared in advance.
In any case, the best thing you can do for your husband is to be supportive. Support and faith in him will be the strength that will help him find a better job.
There are two ways to motivate a husband: aggression and mutual understanding. But aggression breeds aggression. Therefore, we recommend that you support your spouse, talk more with each other, and solve the problem together.